If being married feels like upaid overtime, and the happy relationship it used to be feels like a film you once saw instead of real life, then you need to take some action to save marriage and get things back to the way they once were.
You cannot escape the fact that marriage requires some work and some effort. It doesn’t always need to be work, but there is some required. Fortunately part of this work includes having fun.
In fact, some sources claim that having fun is one of the most important parts of making your marriage survive. Why is that the case?
Lets think about all the things we don’t like in marriage. Having a serious talk. This inevitably includes awkward silences, thinking negative thoughts, remembering things that have hurt us.
You might remember times when you have put in a great deal of effort and nothing has gone right. You might remember many accusations and fights. So that is not going to make you feel good about your marriage. So how does that fit in with fun?
You need to experience the happy feelings that you had at the beginning of the relationship, when everything was happy and wonderful; romance was truly in the air.
In order to get that back you need to put the negative feelings on hold for a time, and one great way to do that is to have a date night.
Date Night – That Old Thing?
You and your spouse need to sit down and gather together a whole list of ideas for fun dates that you could both go on together. Then, pick an idea and start planning a date. Put the date on the calender in a highly visible place.
Decide that you are going to set aside anything negative for that date. You might not be able to do that entirely but that is the aim for you to go out and forget all the rubbish and worry for one night and kick up your heels and have a good time together. Now, I appreciate that there are going to be negative feelings still present in your heart, that you perhaps want to express. But this is not the time for all that. Mentally put your negative feelings in a box for one night, and spend the time being happy. You need to connect to the happy feelings you once had.
Then, when you do decide to talk about the negative stuff, you will know that you can still get back to the good stuff that you had at first. You know that it is there, and you can touch base with it.
You know that the fun and the romance is still alive and burning. That way you have more reason to get through the negative stuff and get rid of it. Because you know that life is better with your partner when it is all out and got rid of.
Remember to have a date night that is effective and fun, and it will help you put the negative stuff in its correct position, and stop it swallowing up your whole life.