Save Marriage by Working Through Adversity
We are more aware about ourselves than our parents were, yet still inevitably fall into similar problems as our parents. Divorce rates are as high as they ever were, which contradicts the fact we have a great understanding of ourselves and any strict religious background. It’s possible that couples are just giving up at marriage at the first sign of trouble, something generations before us wouldn’t have entertained. Maybe it’s time we stopped solving the problem by running away from it, and, rather found solutions that will save the marriage?
The general reasons that are raised time and time again for divorce as the only solution are:
I don’t get on with my in-laws
He wants our children to be brought up in His Religion, Not Mine
They were unfaithful
Save Marriage: I Don’t Get On With My In-Laws
Outlaws is, with good reason, the phrase used by people who mean their in-laws. I say with good reason because some are nice and leave their children to fend for themselves when they get married, whereas, others choose to spend their time messing around in their sons or daughters lives. You may have to move away as a measure to save marriage relations, if they are too close to their parents. It’s not about who#s right and wrong about things pertaining to your marriage, the main thing that matters is that you are given freedom to work it out yourselves. Problems are only occurences that you haven’t worked out a solution to yet. You will.
If religion wasn’t an issue, you wouldn’t be reading this article, would you? Whether you like it or not, religion will always pose it’s own challenges. It may have seemed hip and cool, that you were from different religious groups. Your friends considered you both really open-minded. Until kids arrived on the scene. Kids have a habit of, by no fault of their own, turning things upside down. Because you were never worried about it, until he said “I want to bring our baby up to be a (insert religious group)” Now all of a sudden, you want to argue that it would be better to bring any children up in your religion. If your aim is to save marriage, then there are a number of things you can do. Firstly, if you are not bothered which religion you are, you could convert to your partners religion.
Of course, you could find some of the things that are similar in your religions and then bring the children up as both faiths. Ultimately then you will allow the child to decide which faith they will adopt when they are adults. You must have seen something good in the faith that your partner is, because it is part of what made them the person that they are. Embrace it, and allow your child to pick the bits of each faith they like best.
There are lots of ways to save marriage after a partner has cheated. Cheating is undoubtably one of the most marriage destroying things a person can do, and there is no escaping the huge betrayal that will inevitably occur after infidelity. Couples counselling can really help, and make sure your counsellor will encourage you to discuss the affair as much as possible. Because brushing it under the carpet will do no good at all and the person who has been cheated on needs to come to terms with it. If the person who did the cheating doesn’t like discussing it – well that is tough. Do you want to save marriage or not? 80% of couples who do not discuss the affair end up divorced.
If you are truly commited to saving your marriage then you will be prepared to work through the issues that dominate your marriage. You will be able to have a great deal of pride in your relationship and be able to say, yes, because of the work and effort we put in, we did save marriage.