One of the most asked questions after marriage infidelity is why? Why would a husband or wife cheat on their partner?
Why?
There are a few people out there who are compulsive cheaters, and they are a different case altogether. In this article I am talking about the ordinary husband and wife that have been together for a fairly long time, and suddenly there is marriage infidelity in their relationship.
There are a few reasons why people cheat but the bottom line is, they are not having their emotional needs met at home.
By that I do not just mean there sexual needs; we do not need to go back to a time when women are just there to serve husbands, or even the other way around. But emotional needs are more important, especially to women, but also to men.
People may be looking for help to save their marriage, but the fact is both men and women need to feel appreciated. Do you appreciate your partner? If a person does not feel appreciated by their spouse, and they start to talk to someone else of the opposite sex, confiding in them, how quickly it could turn from a sympathetic cuddle to something much more. This is an actual pick-up technique used by men who want to pick up women. But it could easily be used the other way around. Appreciation is one thing that really does make marriage work.
I want you to know that I am not condoning marriage infidelity in any way shape or form. You will know that by looking at this site that I am very much pro marriage. But sometimes looking at why something happened can give you the clues you need to change the situation.
Stress and Infidelity
Men sometimes have affairs because they are under extreme stress. I once heard of a man who had an affair - it was a one night stand- on the day his favourite Auntie died. Do you think his wife was the approachable sort? Do you think he felt that he could show his feelings to his wife? I would say probably not, or he could have gone home and expressed them.
I am not blaming his wife, I feel should have found a different way to escape the situation. I think that is why he did it - he just wanted to not be himself any more. Sadly he chose this way to do it.
But you can see that by being a good listener, by being gentle with your husband or wives feelings, by being approachable, you can diminish the chances of this happening in your relationship. You yourself can help a troubled marriage this way.
No Sex?
Understanding that sex or the lack of it is not a problem in your relationship but is a symptom of a problem will help you see when an issue has arisen. If your husband or your wife doesn’t want sex for no clear reason (i.e. if they have been working hard all day, sorted out the kids and the pets and the house and now they are exhausted - it’s normal to not want sex!) and this continues for more than a few days, there is an issue.
You can make some time to discuss it - if your partner says there is no issue then just continue to make time for them, they will open up eventually. But give them special attention, try and think of any problems that you can see, treat them gently and respectfully. For more ways to solve problems, see the article on Love Advice Relationship Problems.
Fulfilling Needs
Ultimately, you need to know how to fulfill one anothers needs. This will reduce the chances of your partner looking elsewhere.
Although I have touched on the subject here, I would suggest you take a look here for the best ebook I have found covering men and womens needs in a relationship.
By actively purchasing an ebook you will be showing your husband or wife that you are taking the relationship seriously. You can say to them “because I take our relationship seriously I ….” this way you can avoid a battle.
Help your marriage yourself by getting great advice here:
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