Emotional Infidelity – The How Questions
If you think your partner has begun an emotional affair or is indulging in a bit of emotional infidelity, you may be consumed by “how” questions. How could they? How did it begin? How can you stop it?
First and foremost, we have to say that sometimes people do not know they are going to get into an emotional relationship. They start off innocently enough as friendships. We have to have friendships – we have to get along with people at work, we have to talk to neighbours, we like other human beings, and appropriate friendships make our life easier. It is positive to have a sounding board at work, or a friendly neighbour to talk to about the kids, especially for women.
Starts with a listening ear?
While women tend to need more than one person to form a supportive network, men tend to be more content just having a friendship with their wives. Usually though, most people have a few friends. There is nothing wrong with this, and actually nothing wrong with having friends of the opposite gender. But there has to be awareness of where lines are to be drawn, and this is where things can move swiftly from friendship to emotional affairs.
Someone who has been an acquaintance for a while can become a friend in times of need. And in times of need, we are more likely to need emotional support. If our usual means of support, our partners, are not available for whatever reason then we will always look round for other sources of support. This can be the beginning of emotional affairs.
Let me give you an example. If a woman’s mother is ill in hospital this will be a stressful time for her, and she will need extra support. Maybe her husband is having a hard time paying the bills, and therefore takes extra shifts at work, leaving little time for his wife. Then she meets a nice guy whose mother is also ill in hospital. He is kind and chatty and a good listener. He gives her the support she needs. Can you see the danger here? This is often how emotional affairs begin.
See how easy it is? Natural human needs that are not supplied at home will soon be taken up by another person. How could it have been prevented? Well, if the woman’s husband had text her at every break asking her if there was anything she needed, that he was hoping she was feeling ok, even that he was thinking of her, she may well have felt a bit more supported at home. It helps combat the feelings that lead to emotional infidelity. If he explained that he was sorry he had agreed to the extra shifts and that he was worried about her dealing with her mother being ill by herself, then this would have gone a long way to prevent emotional infidelity even starting in the first place!
So you may be wondering, what can I do if I think my husband or wife is having an emotional affair? Well I am sure you are aware that there is not really enough room in this one article to explain at great length how to stop it in its tracks. Continue reading on this site to discover more about emotional infidelity.